A language beyond spoken words.

Posture can tell us a lot about how a person might be feeling. As a young girl, I was very shy and very conscious of my surrounding. A sudden development in my shape and size as I was maturing only made matters much worse for me and I would often hunch my body forward, wear oversize jumpers and even sometimes cross my arms to disguise my growing silhouette. With time, I realised that I was not unique, in the sense that a number of women encounter similar struggle and sometimes retain this posture into adulthood, having forgotten the original reason for it.

 

The way you hold yourself, your posture, makes a big contribution to your body language and conveys your level of self-confidence.

Our face, eyes, hands gestures, and posture express what is going on inside of us. They give clues to others and to us as to whether the words we say are consistent with what we are really feeling. Being aware of our body language can allow us to send a consistent message. Smiling, making eye contact, using open gestures, and using good posture can bring up our level of self-belief.

We start forming impressions of people we meet from the moment we set eyes on them. Our posture, facial expression, eye contact, and gestures speak louder than the words we say. We all interpret body language all the time on a subconscious level.

Our face is the most expressive part of our body. If you are feeling apprehensive then your facial expression may make you appear distant, detached, or disinterested. You can easily convert this misrepresentation by making a conscious effort to smile. 

Our smile is one of the strongest tools we have when meeting new people. It will help you appear warm, open, friendly, and confident.

Our hands are also very expressive. Open gestures tend to make you appear open, honest and enthusiastic.  But be careful not to make too many gestures as it could make you appear anxious and out of control.

Eyes are the window to the soul. Is it even possible to read into a person’s eyes? Well it seems that our eyes give clues to our emotions. A direct stare implies intensity, making very little eye contact can convey shyness or submissiveness. It may also mean romantic interest. In fact, most women would avoid any eye contact if they feel romantic sentiments towards someone.

Lately I found myself staring at people a lot. I mean it’s not in a perverted way, but I am incurably curious and I sometimes cannot help it. I realised that we can learn a lot about our own body language by observing other people around us, whether it is at a coffee shop, library or at a social gathering. Men and women behave very differently when they are in the company of someone they are trying to lure. 

The Body Language to express interest in another person.

A woman would stroke the rim of her glass, then she is, beyond a shadow of a doubt that, with someone she likes. This is very common and we have all done it subconsciously at one point or the other. 

She will cross and uncross her legs until the point when her legs are facing towards the man she likes. 

Women tend to lean in towards or move closer to the person they like or 'accidentally' brush his arm, or nudge him in a friendly way, any excuse that will decrease the distance between them and grant her the chance to lay a hand on him.

 

There’s also this really sweet thing that women do- tilt their heads to one side and look at his mouth a lot. Women play with their hair - flicking and twirling it around their fingers.

Men on the other hand have evolved in a very standard pattern, that is show off that they are the manliest man present. Every man would like to think he is an alpha male, but sometimes its hard to get notice when they move around in pack, so he stands slightly apart from the group he is with or move into position nearer to a woman to' block' other rivals. He will also sit or stand with their legs apart and breathe in so his torso's puff out, all classical traits to show off his physique and strength. 

He will also visibly look at the woman making conscious effort to catch her eye, which will let her know that he is interested.

But occasionally he may look at her when she is distracted, to try and figure out why he is intrigued by her, this happens mainly in a situation when he feels strongly about her but other factors may not allow him to be with her or express his feelings immediately. 

Other traits are men running their fingers through their hair or you will find them straightening invisible creases on their clothes and fiddle with their cufflinks, in an effort to look the best they can.

There are also some traits that signals that there is little or no attraction, and if you pick up on them, BACK OFF!!

• They are not maintaining any eye contact or are avoiding eye contact altogether.
• They are shrugging their shoulders a lot.
• They maybe smiling but it seems less natural and more polite.
• Their arms are folded.
• They are leaning away from you.
• They are fidgeting, seem distracted and are looking over your shoulder.
• They are rubbing their eyes or worse, yawning!
• They are fiddling with everything they can get their hands on, tapping their foot and drumming their fingers.